Today’s episode is inspired by a lesson I recently completed in the mind transformation book A Course in Miracles (ACIM). Lesson 99 states, “Salvation is my only function here. Salvation and forgiveness are the same.” My mission: meditate on the day’s lesson for 5 minutes every hour throughout the day. I was having a very emotionally challenging time on the day I did this lesson. My thoughts were squirrely, to say the least. But, like a good student, I stuck to my meditations.
As I traveled between no thought and contemplation during one of my meditation session, in the bathroom of all places, I recalled an important truth related to lesson 99:
When we don’t forgive, we bring the past into the present and therefore into the future. Into the future by re-creating the past. I know what happened before, that I’m still holding onto. I’m carrying that energy into the now. I am not experiencing this person in front of me as they are now. I am projecting my reaction to their thoughtless behavior into this new now moment thus recycling an old moment and negating the now. I can let go of what happened to me, what was done, what I did 15 years ago. 15 minutes ago. 15 seconds ago. The past no longer needs to take hold.
(normal color) The day I did this lesson I was in a state of un-forgiveness about a personal desire which had not yet been fulfilled. The desire was on my mind because I recently found myself in a situation where I let my fears get the best of me and ended up acting like a rascal. I recalled those mistakes and deeper into the pit I fell. When will you ever change? Why do you keep doing this? Umm. Not constructive! However, lesson 99 was my anchor back to real reality. I chose to let go, by not actively recalling, what happened 15 years ago. 15 days ago. 15 hours ago. 15 minutes ago. I stopped rehashing. I forgave myself. How I acted does not hold power over how I will act. Doesn’t have to define who I am or what I will do.
The day I did this lesson I also recalled someone with whom I had been withholding acting my best self. I was holding onto a grievance from a conversation we had had a week earlier where her reaction to things I said irked me to the core. But how can I generate a new experience if I’m repeating hum drum behavior? Can’t. At least not a lasting new experience. By forgiving the past, I will not withhold being my best self to anyone. I’m not being my best self for anyone. I’m being my best self for me. To keep creating the life I am inspired by.
Salvation is freedom from bondage. To forgive is to be saved from bondage. Bondage from what? From repeating patterns of acting and thinking that do not result in the life that I want to live.
What was done 15 years ago, 15 minutes ago, 15 seconds ago…it’s done. I don’t want to clog the arteries of my life with foul refuse taking the space of life-affirming delicacies. Forgiveness ultimately benefits everyone, but I don’t do it in order to benefit others. It’s for me. For my peace of mind. For my life to continue flowing as a gentle bubbly stream, not to be stagnant like a backed up sewer pipe.
I could go on. But I think you get it.
For practical processes describing how to release pesky resentments, check out my prior episodes Releasing Resentments 1, 2, 3 and Embrace It to Move It.
Mindset: Forgiveness is for suckers!
Mindshift: Forgiveness frees me, first and foremost, and that is reason enough for me to do it.
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