I grimace each year I come across this thought for the day in my book Offerings: Buddhist wisdom for every day. 2013 marks my 7th year going through the book. I get to the above meditation and I ponder, “What the hell are they talking about?” with a defiant twinge of “Don’t rush me.” Another expression comes to mind, “You only get one shot, so make it count.” Kinda stresses me out.
I have felt anxious reading these words because they bring me face to face with my mortality, provoking me to contemplate whether or not I am living my days less than full out.
One Tuesday evening a few months ago, I had the loveliest interaction with a handsome fella at the gym. Scratch that. Dude was hot. Reminded me of Jake Gyllenhaal. We exchanged high-fives, talked in sync, laughed and just had a good ‘ole FUN connection. Carpe diem baby!
When I got home and thought about my day, I reflected on how I could’ve taken that interaction up a few notches. I soon found myself thinking about how I used to reflexively live my life.
I didn’t always give my best because I operated from the assumption that I’ll just get a do-over. By acting like I could always try better tomorrow, I didn’t fully grasp the now-ness of the present moment. I let my fears run the show.
- I walked the other direction when an attractive guy crossed my path.
- I kept my hand down and mouth shut instead of bodaciously sharing an idea during a meeting, get-together or lecture.
- I said “maybe next time” when people asked me to give presentations.
Now let’s take two other expressions about time:
Time is on your side.
You have all the time in the world.
I don’t know the original context in which these expressions were sung or spoken, but I always perceived a super chill laid-back attitude when I took them at face value. Much more agreeable and ease and flow than the Buddhist expression that began today’s episode. However, I’ve found that if I rely too much on getting universal do-overs and being too lax about time, I can unwittingly tread into half-assin’-my-life territory.
I finally came to a space of peace with the anxiety-provoking Buddhist saying back in May this year. I came to peace when I married all three expressions. When the three work together, I have a belief about time that really works for me.
To be so unbelievably present in each opportunity where the only path is to act authentically and intuitively, where I live as if my experiences and inclinations matter (because they do), taking full responsibility for my actions, dreams and desires. I acknowledge my fears and I take the actions anyway, or get the help I need to take those actions. Very different from “oh, I’ll pass on this one and wait for the next bus.”
At the same time, if the outcome of my acting big today isn’t the outcome I would’ve liked or if my intended actions don’t quite materialize, I can relax about it all and trust that Providence has my back. I do get do-overs. I do get another shot. I don’t have to rush myself into acting outside of alignment, out of sync with serenity in order to fulfill some false anxiety-inducing need to act at any cost.
Some recent examples of seizing opportunities, when it would have been quite easy for me to take a pass or wait for someone else to do it:
- I enlisted a passerby to embark on a 30-minute adventure leading a mama duck and her babies from a busy intersection back to a nearby pond. I wrestled with the thought that I should continue about my walk and go back to work because surely the Universe would take care of these ducks some other way. Sometimes we are the special delivery package meant to address a problem or answer a prayer.
- I seized the chance to write original poetry and perform it at an event. It was my first time.
- I said yes to an invitation to perform at a dance showcase although I didn’t feel up to snuff. But then I just kept following up and ended up having a great show.
- Acting on intuition, I sought another instructor and requested to dance in that piece as well for the same showcase.
We don’t have to fear time and we don’t have to feel guilty about squandering it either. Can you create your own definition that works for you? What is it? Share your thoughts below.
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