Today’s short piece was inspired by such an interaction. I was at my 9 to 5 many months ago when a colleague (let’s call him Jim) copied me on an email to an outside vendor. In that email Jim referenced me by a title that I felt understated my value. This name represented issues I had been having with my position. I saw myself as so much more than what he was calling me. I felt my blood boil.
With journal in hand, I stepped away from my desk and went to my favorite meditative spot on another floor, overlooking a lush park, expansive sky and beautiful homes. I breathed, closed my eyes and heard the direction to start writing.
This piece is dedicated to everyone who has felt similarly.
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I’m mired in ick
disgusted
misrepresented
angst-ridden
shot down
beat up and spit out.
Unheard.
Unmoved.
I’m unspoken.
You fret?
Understatement.
Why?
Why not? I want to feel excited. Like what I do matters. I want to feel above the clouds. Soaring in glory. Is that too much to ask? I need a word that encompasses more than just this.
Too much attention to words.
What?!
Feel it now. Experience it now. Juice it up now.
You’re crazy. What is it?
Too much attention to illusion. What you think is reality is not. And this trips you. You’re in reverse.
::::SIGH::::
Honey, it’s all in your head anyway. Can’t always control the physical, but you reign in the internal. That’s where the juju is. That’s where you have dominion. Feel it now.
But what about what they call me?
Ah! This feeling will pass. Always has. Always does. Forever will. These thoughts will pass if you let them. If you don’t hang on to them. Now what do you tell yourself about what happened? Why did you get riled up in the first place? See this as an exercise to exorcise the minions of despair and despondence, true figments of the de-magination.
So what do I do now?
Rest on the wings of grace. Be who you know you to be regardless of all else. Focus your sights on what’s good and on what’s true. Who you know yourself to be is not what they call you. No word could ever encapsulate your essence. Forget the words. Feel the now.
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