I’ve received a fair share of triggering correspondence in my lifetime (who hasn’t?!) that resulted in knee-jerk-blood-coursing-through-my-veins reactions resonating in the timbre of Must put this fool in their place right now. Even if I immediately reply in a manner I think is innocent, after going back to read my response I’m usually like, “Damn, I wouldn’t be thrilled if I were on the receiving end of that text, email or voicemail.”
The last cringe-worthy reply I sent happened in a work email a few months ago. I was emotionally triggered by a demanding personality and didn’t give myself the gift of waiting at least 1 hour before replying. I thought my reply was calm, but I cringed after re-reading it a few hours later, well after I had already cooled down. My definition of calm in the moment was actually abrasive. Time for a retraction! So I wrote another email apologizing for the acidic tone of my prior communication. No harm no foul. Apology accepted. Back to business.
But this could have all been averted. Now when I’m emotionally charged by prickly correspondence, I make it a regular practice to keep my mouth shut until I’ve given myself the time that I need to really calm down. I may go for a walk, journal it out, breathe deeply or say what I would really want to say to a close friend far removed from the situation.
Work on yourself. Do what you need to do before you reply. Let the text sit on your phone. Let the email stay in your inbox. Is anyone dying because you’re not responding? No? Then resist the urge to prematurely respond.
What else do you do to avoid knee-jerk reactions? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined.
To sum it up…
Mindset: I can’t believe this person said this to me. Wow. I must reply now.
Mindshift: I take all the time I need for me so I can act with integrity.
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