You can always listen to this week's episode, just below.
My thoughts were racing. I was scrambling but I couldn't figure out exactly why I felt such ill-will towards this person. And I’m not talking about the surface level reaction “So-and-So did blankety-blank and they shouldn’t have.” I’m referring to what the frack was up with me that someone else’s actions were able to affect me as much as it did.
Beneath the surface lie deeper layers. I regain my power by taking ownership of whatever I can within those layers. If forgiving people were up to others righting their wrongs. . .ha! I don’t have a witty enough figure of speech to reflect the ridiculousness of this notion, so I won’t even try.
So back to this heartburn-like resentment. I got quiet, calm and collected and I proceeded to dig beneath the obvious she did this and this is why she shouldn’t have. I find that I can often trace resentments back to a flash of an expectation I had of how someone should’ve acted or how a situation should've gone down.
(On a side note, “should” has got to be one of the most dangerous words I know. It invokes so much regret, e.g. “I should have done this with my life instead of that.” Shoulds can cause us to belittle our intuition, e.g. “I want to stay at home and rest because I’m so tired, but I should go out to that party.” In line with the topic of this post, should in the form of expectation is a swift harbinger of resentment.)
This concludes part 1 of this series on resentment. In part 2, I'll further discuss the role of expectations in resentments. I'll also introduce a 5-step process to help you release resentments and regain your power. Peep part 2 HERE.
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